I have officially been gestating this baby for 40 weeks come this Friday. That is a long time. I know that many women before me have carried babies longer than this, and I am still very committed to doing this naturally so I was extremely relieved to hear at my bevy of appointments today that my little girl is healthy and happy. She is much too low in the birth canal to even see her face anymore in the ultrasounds, but her measurements were perfect at 6 lbs. 8 ounces and in spite of moderate placental ageing, things look pretty great.
I woke up this morning with a new attitude; while I really want to meet this little girl, I don’t want to lose sight as to why I am committed to attempt natural childbirth. I think when I found out I was high risk I had resigned myself to medical intervention and things being out of my control for the remainder of this pregnancy. I think this was healthy for me to process because there is still a very real possibility that I will be induced or wind up with a C-section. I needed to know that this wasn’t the worst thing in the world, and that the only thing that mattered is that my daughter arrives safe and healthy. I have had many friends that have had medical interventions they had not planned when brining their children into the world, and watching them has inspired me to understand that babies enter into this world in their own way, and we are lucky that there professionals out that who can get them here safely, no matter what the course.
Paradoxically, this has inspired me to keep on my natural plan. I am lucky enough to be a high risk pregnancy who still has the option for natural birth. My doc is constantly telling me that he has low risk patients he would like to see as healthy as I am this far along. There are still things I need to watch for, and we still have some concerns, but all things considered, things are good. We are not even going to talk about an induction for at least another week, and with any luck l will go naturally by then. To be perfectly honest, I think I will. I just have a good feeling about it. I am sure if I begged the doc to induce me, he would be open to it, but I somehow feel like things are back in my control now that I know we are medically safe to wait. I would never put the baby in harm’s way, and if things need to happen that are not in my plan, I will do so happily, but having a green light to let my body do its thing right now feels very empowering. Maybe it is because I never thought I would make it past 37 weeks with a healthy pregnancy, or maybe because my due date is two days away, but I just have a good feeling about getting through this the way we are hoping to.
I am also optimistic because I just finished my last day working in the office. I will continue to work from home until labor begins, but my office will now be located in my living room. This is awesome for many reasons. For one, it was my boss’s idea. She just asked when I wanted to start working from home and I said Thursday, and it was done. Do any of you have a job that is that awesome? Yeah, I didn’t think so. For two, getting Jane to daycare is going to be much easier having more time to get her ready because I am not busy getting myself ready. She really is a great kid, but there is just no way to make a two year old move quickly, and I try not to rush her. Letting her put on her own shoes can take up to 10 minutes, but I want her to have that independence and it will be nice to not have to worry that I will never have time to blow dry my hair and help her get her shoes on the right feet and still make an early meeting. For three, I have a serious lack of work clothes that fit. Ok, I have three things that fit. Three! I mix and match them as best as I can, and I wear a few things that work, but I wouldn’t say they fit. This happens to all of us at the end of pregnancy, and I am not willing to go buy new stuff when I could have her any day. I am looking forward to working in yoga pants and RJ’s t-shirts. And four, I really like that I am still working. It keeps me busy, I love the work, and I am glad I don’t just walk around all day hoping for a contraction. This isn’t true for everyone, but it really helps me to work until the end.
And so, I am glad to report that I still have no idea when I am having this baby. We didn’t check dilation or effacement this week because it doesn’t matter, it will happen when it happens. I have no indication on when we will meet her. But when I do, I will let you all know